Are You a Hooker?

Do you hook readers with your first sentence or let them squirm off the line? There are a LOT of fish in the blog sea, so how can you improve the odds of visitors actually reading your post?

Hook 'em, and hook 'em hard. Ah, the power of the pen strikes again. Good writing captivates attention with the title and the first sentence, immediately. Be honest, did my title entice you to examine this post? I tried to write an opening sentence that would continue that momentum.

Blog readers are very efficient information sieves. We scan post titles and opening lines looking for something that snaps us into paying more attention. No snap and you risk losing your fish. No offense; I'm a fish, too. I swim from one blog to the next, searching for a fat juicy hook. Sometimes, I'm tricked and I've bitten into something that falls flat after the hook. But more often, the clever, creative hooks deliver as promised.

Baiting readers is perhaps more important in fiction than in practical blog posts. Novels don't promise anything but to entertain. So if you're readers aren't going to come away with new tips, tricks or advice, you'd better give them a good story. And the story won't be read if they're not hooked. I spent a few hours at the bookstore, my home away from home, jotting down opening lines from random novels. Here's what I found along with my reactions:

1. The seller of lightening rods arrived just ahead of the storm. "Something Wicked This Way Comes", Ray Bradbury: BIG thumbs up.
2. Eragon knelt in a bed of trampled reed grass and scanned the tracks with a practiced eye. "Eragon", Christopher Paolini: Eh, I'll nap instead.
3. Matilda Roberts was naked as the air. "Dead Man's Walk", Larry McMurtry: BIG thumbs up.
4. It's hard to imagine life before Candy. "Candy", Kevin Brooks: Eyes glazing over...
5. When the red light blinked on the bedside telephone, a sophisticated recording device was automatically activated in the Paris apartment near the Pompidou Center in the lively Fourth Arrondissement. "Gideon's Spies", Gordon Thomas: TWO thumbs up.
6. Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically. "Lady Chatterley's Lover", D. H. Lawrence: Thumbs up.
7. We came on the wind of the carnival. "Chocolat", Joanne Harris: Thumbs up.
8. Wine talks. "Blackberry Wine", Joanne Harris: TWO thumbs up.
9. The temperature hit 90 degrees the day she arrived. "The Valley of the Dolls", Jacqueline Susann: So? (I admit I loved this book, but the first sentence didn't hook me - the cult classic reputation did.)
10. All day there are glaring omens that go undetected. "The White Bone", Barbara Gowdy: TWO thumbs up pumping up and down.
11. A wind was blowing that day, old and wintry and mean. "Red Water", Judith Freeman: Blah.
12. The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed. "The Gunslinger: The Dark Tower I", Stephen King: TWO thumbs up, quivering with fear.
13. The boy's name was Santiago. "The Alchemist", Paulo Coelho: Snore.
14. What's it going to be then, eh? "A Clockwork Orange", Anthony Burgess: Thumbs up.
15. The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another, his mother called him, "WILD THING!" and Max said, "I'LL EAT YOU UP!" so he was sent to bed without eating anything. "Where the Wild Things Are", Maurice Sendak: Brilliant.

Well, you get the idea. How many of these books would you have continued reading past the first sentence? What are some of your favorite opening lines (in books)? Before you put hours of hard work into your next post or story, just remember if your first line can't hold eyeballs, nothing else matters much. Happy hooking!

Got Game? How to Make Love With Blog Comments

Masks off, everybody. Let’s admit no matter how compelling that blog entry is, you comment with hopes of a return visit or an acknowledgement in the thread, at the very least. Readers and writers court each other by commenting, just like you drop lines at work, the club, church or anywhere else you troll for prospects. Hold on. I’m not calling the blogosphere slutty. I’m simply saying blog commenting is the most direct avenue to other bloggers, also known as potential readers of your own blog.

Convey genuine interest in the content, writer and other commenters. Chances are some will respond by seeking more information about you and click your URL. Similar to dating, don't you think? Well, good news before bad; here are some guidelines for dazzling comments followed by some lethal maneuvers.

• Do Personalize. Address the blogger by name, not avatar, human name if available. Click on the profile link and see. Writing to them by name makes your comment stand out from the rest. Even junk mail marketers have this one down. What's in a name, you ask? Just try calling the wrong one out in the heat of passion.
• Do Discuss. Blogs are communities. How better to build your community and help others grow theirs than by facilitating discussion. Comments are gateways to conversations in writing. Discussions are two-way streets. Decide between a speech, discussion and debate. Which do you want to encourage?
• Do ask relevant questions. Engage readers by asking about their experiences. Asking for help is another way to show interest in the blogger, but make sure your requests are reasonable. Don’t ask for instructions you could easily find through a Web search, for example. Asking for opinions, rather than directions, is usually well-received.
• Do be slightly mysterious. Comments that require scrolling to read usually share too much information. Remember the chatty girl you dated who made your eyes glaze over? Long-winded comments do that.
• Do give specific compliments. “Great job” and “You’re right!” are like telling your girlfriend she's beautiful without looking up. Danger, Will Rodgers.
• Do disagree. Be bold enough to say what you mean, respectfully. Comments that always agree with everthing are milk toast.
  
  
• Don’t jam your URL in the comments frame. You'll seem too forward and impatient, like handing her your phone number while introducing yourself.
• Don’t ask for a link exchange. Email the blogger privately to do so, if you must. Commenting with nothing more than a link request is like staring at a girl’s boobs while talking to her. (The only girls who like that twirl around poles for a living.)
• Don’t type “I” in every sentence. Just like in the field, nobody likes “I” talkers.
• Don’t say meaningless things. Comments like “great post!” and “I agree with you! Great job!” are hogwash. Readers, and especially writers, will roll their eyes and call you a hot air balloon.
• Don’t comment on every post. No matter how much you want that sex link juice, control yourself. Even if every post is brilliant, like Problogger, don’t comment constantly unless you can meet all the “do” list components above. Recall someone overly interested in dating you. How did the constant phone calls, text messages and “I miss you!” comments make you feel? One word: PEST.

There you have it, my playbook for sexy comment writing. Don't be a snake oil commenter salesmen or the guy with chest hair and a big medallion. Think before you comment and be genuine. All kidding aside, leaving thoughtful comments is just good copywriting and the next extension of good titles and posts. Try it. You'll be a smooth operator in no time and the envy of every blog.

Ten Writing Mistakes That Make You Sound Dumb

What do all 113 million blogs on Technorati have in common? Writing. Bloggers write. Readers will judge your content, capability and credibility as a blogger by how well you communicate in writing. Misspellings, grammatical mistakes and misusing words make you seem like a careless, clueless amateur. Chances are that’s not the impression you want to make. Your brilliant ideas may be discounted and your blog dismissed because your writing sounds dumb. And online, you are what you write, right? Why, then, do so many bloggers spend so little time perfecting writing skills?

The emphasis is clearly on content in the blogosphere. Everyone advises everyone else to have fresh, original content. Write about something you know, be passionate about your material. Well, yes, that’s certainly good advice. But publish a poorly written post and no matter how passionate you are, your mistakes make readers doubt your product and you. Worse yet, they may even get some laughs out of it. Nobody likes being laughed at, even in cyberspace.

Why not spend a few moments revisiting what English teachers preach? Here are 10 common mistakes I’ve noticed most frequently on blogs. Click links for details.

1. Inappropriate capitalization. Only capitalize proper nouns. “Search engine optimization”, “blogs”, “readers” and “directories” are just plain old words.
2. Use periods. Period. Don’t string a bunch of separate thoughts together in one colossal sentence. Run-on sentences are confusing.
3. Spell check. Most blogging software and word processing programs have spell check. Use it. I’ve seen “neccessary", “oppinion", “probally”, and “impordent” too many times to count. Oh, and “afiliate" doesn’t help matters, either.
4. Misusing words. Should you use "anymore" or "any more"?
5. IM speak. Instant messaging lingo is cool and cute, if you’re 12. Nothing ruins an interesting, intelligent post more than “LOLs” at every turn.
6. Possession. Decide correctly between “its”, “it’s”, “your” and “you’re”. Do you see why "stay at home mom's can make good money online" is wrong?
7. Exclamations!!! Showing emotion with punctuation is good, but use sparingly. Excessive exclamation points make you sound juvenile or inappropriate.
8. Homophone hell. No, not homophobia. Homophone. Using the wrong word that sounds like the write right one. Remember, compliment the blogger and complement your template's colors. Is this "to", "too" or "two" (please, no...) confusing yet?
9. Useless words. Shorten your sentences. Wordy posts make you sound like a windbag.
10. Don't let subjects and verbs disagree. Verbs has to agree with subjects, right? Wrong.
    

No one' s perfect, not even me. But give yourself a running start by reviewing these common mistakes. Improve your writing and sound smarter. That notion goes beyond blogging. Lastly, click here if you'd like to see nearly all of these mistakes made. Aside from parenting philosophies, what impression did this writer make on you?