Remodeling!

Well I've had my fun with the fractal and now it's time for a more refined Fictionarium. If I want to generate some respectable freelancing income, I need to have a more professional looking site. So please be patient during my redesign. My HTML book and I are working as fast as we can!

Avoid Becoming a Blogging Drone

How often do we see the same news headline blogged to death? If you hesitated, click one of the popular search tags on Technorati and see the thousands of blog entries featuring the same story simply summarized with a few obvious observations thrown in. Boring.

Perhaps risking readership with milk toast posts is no concern for some. Others may not realize they're droning. Some struggle with knowing your post is a drop in the blogosphere bucket of a bijillion other posts on the same story, but don't know what to do about it. It's those bloggers I'm writing to.

This Blog Drone mini series features a few articles on writing strategies to make your posts stand out from the crowd. The foundation of my posting strategies are style and content: titles that grab your readers by the throat and pull them over, a small measure of attitude, some proof of authority, attention to detail and a fresh perspective that bonks people on the head, but in a delightful way. Let's start with the head bonking first.

It's all about the angle. Want to write about the latest news headlines? Fine. Want to engage your readers in that post? Find a different angle to explore that's related to the story. Take the big Barbara Walters reveal last week. Instead of repeating the story all the big wires have already reported, how about unraveling a smaller thread of the bigger tapestry? For example, are there other famous people who tried to keep an inter-racial affair a secret? Or what about the opposite - notable couples who have openly celebrated their union? Let's take the journalist angle. Narrow it down to female journalists or even aging journalists. How many others have written a 'tell all' book in the twilight of their careers? These angles would make interesting list posts, such as "Ten Last Hurrahs From Aging Journalists", or whatever.

Now let's think about the money. Everyone likes to read about other people's money. Research what Walters plans to do with the proceeds of her book. Anything interesting?

Some pundits scorned Walters' book as a distasteful publicity stunt. Can you examine other angles of her behavior under that same lens? How about researching her interview subjects from past to present? Seems to me she made history with breaking interviews of political icons and humanitarians. Now she engages in silly conversations with Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise. I'd read a post about that comparison.

Working subtle angles of headline stories also uses popular key words for SEO, but delivers a fresh story to your readers. What's not to love?

Next in this series: tricks to boost your authority on any subject. Subscribe now and get my shiny full feed.

Are You a Hooker?

Do you hook readers with your first sentence or let them squirm off the line? There are a LOT of fish in the blog sea, so how can you improve the odds of visitors actually reading your post?

Hook 'em, and hook 'em hard. Ah, the power of the pen strikes again. Good writing captivates attention with the title and the first sentence, immediately. Be honest, did my title entice you to examine this post? I tried to write an opening sentence that would continue that momentum.

Blog readers are very efficient information sieves. We scan post titles and opening lines looking for something that snaps us into paying more attention. No snap and you risk losing your fish. No offense; I'm a fish, too. I swim from one blog to the next, searching for a fat juicy hook. Sometimes, I'm tricked and I've bitten into something that falls flat after the hook. But more often, the clever, creative hooks deliver as promised.

Baiting readers is perhaps more important in fiction than in practical blog posts. Novels don't promise anything but to entertain. So if you're readers aren't going to come away with new tips, tricks or advice, you'd better give them a good story. And the story won't be read if they're not hooked. I spent a few hours at the bookstore, my home away from home, jotting down opening lines from random novels. Here's what I found along with my reactions:

1. The seller of lightening rods arrived just ahead of the storm. "Something Wicked This Way Comes", Ray Bradbury: BIG thumbs up.
2. Eragon knelt in a bed of trampled reed grass and scanned the tracks with a practiced eye. "Eragon", Christopher Paolini: Eh, I'll nap instead.
3. Matilda Roberts was naked as the air. "Dead Man's Walk", Larry McMurtry: BIG thumbs up.
4. It's hard to imagine life before Candy. "Candy", Kevin Brooks: Eyes glazing over...
5. When the red light blinked on the bedside telephone, a sophisticated recording device was automatically activated in the Paris apartment near the Pompidou Center in the lively Fourth Arrondissement. "Gideon's Spies", Gordon Thomas: TWO thumbs up.
6. Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically. "Lady Chatterley's Lover", D. H. Lawrence: Thumbs up.
7. We came on the wind of the carnival. "Chocolat", Joanne Harris: Thumbs up.
8. Wine talks. "Blackberry Wine", Joanne Harris: TWO thumbs up.
9. The temperature hit 90 degrees the day she arrived. "The Valley of the Dolls", Jacqueline Susann: So? (I admit I loved this book, but the first sentence didn't hook me - the cult classic reputation did.)
10. All day there are glaring omens that go undetected. "The White Bone", Barbara Gowdy: TWO thumbs up pumping up and down.
11. A wind was blowing that day, old and wintry and mean. "Red Water", Judith Freeman: Blah.
12. The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed. "The Gunslinger: The Dark Tower I", Stephen King: TWO thumbs up, quivering with fear.
13. The boy's name was Santiago. "The Alchemist", Paulo Coelho: Snore.
14. What's it going to be then, eh? "A Clockwork Orange", Anthony Burgess: Thumbs up.
15. The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another, his mother called him, "WILD THING!" and Max said, "I'LL EAT YOU UP!" so he was sent to bed without eating anything. "Where the Wild Things Are", Maurice Sendak: Brilliant.

Well, you get the idea. How many of these books would you have continued reading past the first sentence? What are some of your favorite opening lines (in books)? Before you put hours of hard work into your next post or story, just remember if your first line can't hold eyeballs, nothing else matters much. Happy hooking!

Got Game? How to Make Love With Blog Comments

Masks off, everybody. Let’s admit no matter how compelling that blog entry is, you comment with hopes of a return visit or an acknowledgement in the thread, at the very least. Readers and writers court each other by commenting, just like you drop lines at work, the club, church or anywhere else you troll for prospects. Hold on. I’m not calling the blogosphere slutty. I’m simply saying blog commenting is the most direct avenue to other bloggers, also known as potential readers of your own blog.

Convey genuine interest in the content, writer and other commenters. Chances are some will respond by seeking more information about you and click your URL. Similar to dating, don't you think? Well, good news before bad; here are some guidelines for dazzling comments followed by some lethal maneuvers.

• Do Personalize. Address the blogger by name, not avatar, human name if available. Click on the profile link and see. Writing to them by name makes your comment stand out from the rest. Even junk mail marketers have this one down. What's in a name, you ask? Just try calling the wrong one out in the heat of passion.
• Do Discuss. Blogs are communities. How better to build your community and help others grow theirs than by facilitating discussion. Comments are gateways to conversations in writing. Discussions are two-way streets. Decide between a speech, discussion and debate. Which do you want to encourage?
• Do ask relevant questions. Engage readers by asking about their experiences. Asking for help is another way to show interest in the blogger, but make sure your requests are reasonable. Don’t ask for instructions you could easily find through a Web search, for example. Asking for opinions, rather than directions, is usually well-received.
• Do be slightly mysterious. Comments that require scrolling to read usually share too much information. Remember the chatty girl you dated who made your eyes glaze over? Long-winded comments do that.
• Do give specific compliments. “Great job” and “You’re right!” are like telling your girlfriend she's beautiful without looking up. Danger, Will Rodgers.
• Do disagree. Be bold enough to say what you mean, respectfully. Comments that always agree with everthing are milk toast.
  
  
• Don’t jam your URL in the comments frame. You'll seem too forward and impatient, like handing her your phone number while introducing yourself.
• Don’t ask for a link exchange. Email the blogger privately to do so, if you must. Commenting with nothing more than a link request is like staring at a girl’s boobs while talking to her. (The only girls who like that twirl around poles for a living.)
• Don’t type “I” in every sentence. Just like in the field, nobody likes “I” talkers.
• Don’t say meaningless things. Comments like “great post!” and “I agree with you! Great job!” are hogwash. Readers, and especially writers, will roll their eyes and call you a hot air balloon.
• Don’t comment on every post. No matter how much you want that sex link juice, control yourself. Even if every post is brilliant, like Problogger, don’t comment constantly unless you can meet all the “do” list components above. Recall someone overly interested in dating you. How did the constant phone calls, text messages and “I miss you!” comments make you feel? One word: PEST.

There you have it, my playbook for sexy comment writing. Don't be a snake oil commenter salesmen or the guy with chest hair and a big medallion. Think before you comment and be genuine. All kidding aside, leaving thoughtful comments is just good copywriting and the next extension of good titles and posts. Try it. You'll be a smooth operator in no time and the envy of every blog.